Alone with my thoughts

Jayne's away in Birmingham just now at a conference thing.  Chico (the cat) has gone outside to take care of business, get some fresh air and maybe hassle some local wildlife.  I have wasted most of my day watching films I've already seen.

I haven't been completely useless - I took Jayne to the station, managed to get the recycling out in time, did a load of washing, hung it out to dry, worked on a bass project that I'm building just now, took care of the dishes which had built up, fed the cat and posted a letter for Jayne.  But I don't feel like I've made much use of another day out of my allotted time on this planet.

The day is drawing to a close and the only sounds I can hear are the call and response of two clocks ticking at each other, a slight whirr and occasional chatter from the hard drive of my laptop, the clacking of the keys as I type and the very faint drone of a ship in the harbour.

It's times like these when I marvel at how lucky I am to have met someone as amazing as Jayne.  It's times like these when I imagine how empty my life would be without her.  I hope and pray that we're together for the long haul and that I don't fuck things up, either with a single catastrophic failure or a slow build up of little failures.  I know she'll be back in a couple of days, but during the very occasional times we're apart, I get as sad as the sad looking house on the electricity monitor which tells you you've gone over your target consumption for the day.

I love you, Jayne.  I miss you and I am just plodding along until you come home again.

xx